uh, hi!, im writing this on 10/27/22 and uh, i thought i should give a update to this website as a whole and why it hasnt been getting updated.

but before that i do want to say sorry for leaving without any update! i hope i didnt worry anyone! you can still find me active uh, somewhere online! feel free to check my carrd in my about section for updated info.

so yeah! uh, i never intended to go this long without a update? like i started working on the september update and it just, felt wrong. so i stopped working on it thinking id work on it again in a few days. and uh, now its been nearly a month.

the point of this website was always to like, show myself mask off to a smaller audience than my normal social media. and uh, at this point i kinda feel like there are too many eyes on this website? like, it nearly has 25k views. it really doesnt feel like this private little thing anymore yknow?.

also i really havent had much to say. yknow im lucky to live a pretty simple life, things have been alright.

and then the few things i have been writing in my diary i havent really felt comfortable sharing? ive just been thinking about like, my future 5, 10, 15, years from now. yknow like, just thinking about jobs, and money, and housing, and how streaming & my art fits into that.

and like? i know a lot of people who read this site also watch my streams. and how do i tell them i think about quiting from time to time? like i dont have any plans to but like, at some point i have to actually make money yknow? and its hard to do that when streaming 24/7.

and then i fear if i mentioned needing money to my audience they would donate to me, and like, i dont want to make money from streaming, i know too many twitch viewers who have the habit of gifting more than they can afford, and the thought of being the cause of someone spending too much is horrible, i dont want that, i'd rather like, a more stable job.

also i really do want to stress im doing fine money wise right now, like i dont have any issues at all right now. ive just, been thinking about the longrun. like at some point in a few years im gonna have to stop all of *this* and actually live a more standard american life.

ive also been thinking about like. my relationship to my family and what they mean to me, and like, id rather keep my family stuff private from here lol.

so uh, yeah, thats what my brains been "behind the scenes" for the past two months lol. nothing super interesting.

also not sure if ill keep updating this website! it'll uh, depend on what im thinking about that month lol.

(psst) for anyone only interested in my art content im planning on posting every day of november! so uh, content is coming!