i dont feel as though i exist.

im not sure when but i seem to of lost the will to really *live* a life over the past year or two.

i remember as a kid i used to be such a angry person, i hated the direction my life was going in, i fought every fucking day in a desperate attempt to really *live* a life.

nowdays ive accepted my lifes direction, and ive just, given up it seems. im no longer angry and that feels nice but at the same time im not "alive"

i feel trapped in a limbo.

i have no close friends, i dont speak to anyone most days, i dont seek content, i dont have a drive to make content, i dont work, i barely eat, i survive off of doing the bare minimun it takes to sustain a body.

my favorite part of the day always seems to be at night when i get to lay down in the dark and just stare at the ceiling. its just so peaceful, having nothing going on.

i want to exist again, but how? how do i find a drive again? how does one exist?